Having been in the wrestling world for most of my life, both as a competitor and as coach, I have been exposed to all there is out there. I have seen the promise of great talent in an 8-year-old get used and drained and thrown to the wayside by the time he is 13. I have seen the 13-year-old who was all but disregarded from other programs blossom into a champion with the right coaching. I have seen clubs and clinics come and go. I have walked the road, have carried the load and I fully comprehend the good, the bad and the ugly that is involved in developing a great wrestler. 

Nothing brings more of a black eye to the sport then those coaches and specialists who are into profit more than the wellbeing of their athletes. These “coaches” chase down young wrestlers and their parents promising gold only to walk away when that wrestler fails to deliver for them and their club. What all my years in the sport has taught me is that to develop a young man into a great wrestler it takes commitment from the wrestler, his family and his coaches. It requires patience and the understanding by the coaches that each wrestler needs to be treated like an individual and not just one of many.

There are a number of fine wrestling clinics, camps and clubs out there. There are also too many that are more than happy to take your cash, never bothering to learn the name of your son or pay him attention unless he is a “stud.” If you want to have your son develop into a solid wrestler and more importantly a self-confident and determined young man, a club that operates as a “factory” will only serve a few at the expense of many. That is the stark reality of their business model.

All parents would like to think that their son is a “stud.” The harsh truth is that there are only a small percentage of wrestlers out there who can honestly wear that badge. You don’t need to be a “stud” to have a brilliant and successful wrestling career. You don’t need to be a “stud” to achieve success on and off the mat. You don’t need to be a “stud” to wrestle in the NCAA. What you need to be is grounded, a generous training partner, coachable and respectful of the process.

As wrestling season is officially beginning, many parents will be looking at the disparity of skills on the mat, especially with the younger wrestlers, and will no doubt want to rush them into a club and private lessons so that they can catch up. There is certainly nothing wrong with that decision. Just remember that the sport of wrestling is a marathon. It is a grinding and difficult sport for the athlete. Also, please keep in mind that not all clubs and schools are the same. Make sure to research the school. Ask questions about coaching philosophy, approach and methodology. Equally important don’t be afraid to ask the school about the integrity of their coaching staff. Some good starting questions to ask; do they do background checks on their coaches? Have there ever been any incidences between athlete and coach that was reported to the police? As a parent, you have a right to know who is spending that time with your son.

 Having been in the wrestling world for most of my life, both as a competitor and as coach, I have been exposed to all there is out there. I have seen the promise of great talent in an 8-year-old get used and drained and thrown to the wayside by the time he is 13. I have seen the 13-year-old who was all but disregarded from other programs blossom into a champion with the right coaching. I have seen clubs and clinics come and go. I have walked the road, have carried the load and I fully comprehend the good, the bad and the ugly that is involved in developing a great wrestler.

Nothing brings more of a black eye to the sport then those coaches and specialists who are into profit more than the wellbeing of their athletes. These “coaches” chase down young wrestlers and their parents promising gold only to walk away when that wrestler fails to deliver for them and their club. What all my years in the sport has taught me is that to develop a young man into a great wrestler it takes commitment from the wrestler, his family and his coaches. It requires patience and the understanding by the coaches that each wrestler needs to be treated like an individual and not just one of many.

There are a number of fine wrestling clinics, camps and clubs out there. There are also too many that are more than happy to take your cash, never bothering to learn the name of your son or pay him attention unless he is a “stud.” If you want to have your son develop into a solid wrestler and more importantly a self-confident and determined young man, a club that operates as a “factory” will only serve a few at the expense of many. That is the stark reality of their business model.

All parents would like to think that their son is a “stud.” The harsh truth is that there are only a small percentage of wrestlers out there who can honestly wear that badge. You don’t need to be a “stud” to have a brilliant and successful wrestling career. You don’t need to be a “stud” to achieve success on and off the mat. You don’t need to be a “stud” to wrestle in the NCAA. What you need to be is grounded, a generous training partner, coachable and respectful of the process.

As wrestling season is officially beginning, many parents will be looking at the disparity of skills on the mat, especially with the younger wrestlers, and will no doubt want to rush them into a club and private lessons so that they can catch up. There is certainly nothing wrong with that decision. Just remember that the sport of wrestling is a marathon. It is a grinding and difficult sport for the athlete. Also, please keep in mind that not all clubs and schools are the same. Make sure to research the school. Ask questions about coaching philosophy, approach and methodology. Equally important don’t be afraid to ask the school about the integrity of their coaching staff. Some good starting questions to ask; do they do background checks on their coaches? Have there ever been any incidences between athlete and coach that was reported to the police? As a parent, you have a right to know who is spending that time with your son.

About the Author:
Donnie DeFilippis is the senior director of wrestling operations at BrawlHouse in Mountainside, New Jersey. He is the director of wrestling development of all age levels in Summit, New Jersey, where he also works as a police officer and resides with his wife and son.